Monday, January 25, 2010
HERE COMES THE STATE OF THE UNION
At the State of the Union, the state of the presidency may be the question that most needs answering.
This President, who chooses his friends and advisers poorly is about to tell us about the condition of the country. A consensus shows that Mr. Obama will focus on jobs - so as not to surprise the American Public. Smoke and Mirrors America.
With the ongoing buildup of voter anger about the enormous budget deficit, he is expected to announce a "freeze" in certain areas of DOMESTIC SPENDING! That's so as to use his very adept "slight-of-hand" and have you NOT FOCUS on his Foreign Policy Spending. After all, it is part of his job description to help"support the rest of the world" - isn't it? Maybe he thinks that he can sum up the past year by side stepping the issues. There is nothing he would like more than to have YOU believe that he can start this year off with a clean slate. Let's be sure not to have short memories and let this guy off the hook!
This President, who chooses his friends and advisers poorly is about to tell us about the condition of the country. A consensus shows that Mr. Obama will focus on jobs - so as not to surprise the American Public. Smoke and Mirrors America.
With the ongoing buildup of voter anger about the enormous budget deficit, he is expected to announce a "freeze" in certain areas of DOMESTIC SPENDING! That's so as to use his very adept "slight-of-hand" and have you NOT FOCUS on his Foreign Policy Spending. After all, it is part of his job description to help"support the rest of the world" - isn't it? Maybe he thinks that he can sum up the past year by side stepping the issues. There is nothing he would like more than to have YOU believe that he can start this year off with a clean slate. Let's be sure not to have short memories and let this guy off the hook!
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THIS JOKE IS NOT REALLY FUNNY
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)
PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
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