Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Economy Says Everybody Is In Great Shape And All Is Well

US Whig poster showing unemployment in 1837Image via Wikipedia
Am I missing something?  The stock market keeps rising.  To me that means that all the listed companies' stock is worth more, right?  That in turn means that all these companies are doing well, right?  So how do they do that if unemployment hovers around 10 percent?  I guess all you people in the 90 percent group are doing SO WELL that you are buying more of the companies' products even without the 10 percent who are unemployed, right?  So how does it work exactly?  The real estate companies that build homes, even though their sales are down their stock prices rise?  What's wrong with this picture?  America I love you - BUT WAKE UP!  Maybe when the FULL CONGRESS COMES BACK FROM THEIR CHRISTMAS BREAK they can figure this out.  Oh wait, that would be the same Congress that would have us believe ALL IS WELL.  I guess we're just in trouble and don't know it!

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THIS JOKE IS NOT REALLY FUNNY

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.


Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.